Today I was reading a post from Andrew Stadel which led me to another post by Kate Nowak which made me think. I started blogging last year for a challenge but got frustrated with so many things I stopped. I was "going to" the middle school discussion nights on Twitter but had trouble navigating the conversations a bit, and felt like everyone knew each other and ...well I don't know anyone. Everyone was friendly, it was just me feeling inadequate. I used to love going on Twitter listening to a few conversations when I could. I checked out different blogs but last year I stopped. So here I am again wanting to try again and not knowing where to start. I want to be a better teacher. That's the truth. But I have a lot of constraints where I teach time wise. I read blogs that inspire me but wonder how can I do that? When I only have 8 days (including assessment) to teach fractions, decimals, percents and scientific notation. Changing from one form to another, comparing numbers in any and all forms. Yes I know what others would advise, I tell it to myself too: take what you can and implement it into your class. A little change here and a little change there will impact my classroom. And that's good advice. It must be as I gave it to myself. (said with a sarcastic voice).
But there's more to the frustrated give up feeling I had last year. I work hard. Yes I know we are all teachers and work hard. Its just I am not efficient at it at all. It takes me a lot of hours and I accomplish little. So I am frustrated. If for three hours after school I feel like I accomplished something then I would feel great. But instead I feel like I searched for some great activity, found nothing, ran out of time and threw together a lesson because it had to be done. I love teaching and hate it at the same time. I hate that it takes me hours to accomplish nothing. I hate that I am always overwhelmed with school. I think if things don't change then I want to leave and do something else for a living. BUT....here's the but...when I have an 8th grade student stop by my room and tell me how much they love math this year I know I am where I am supposed to be. The student that hated math when they entered my door in 7th grade, left loving it. Yea! When I see the ''light bulb" go off in a student and they get it...really get it..I know I am where I am meant to be. So although I am not close to being ready to go back to school, I am ready to do better this year. I will read a few middle school blogs. I will try to remember middle school discussion night on Twitter. I will make myself leave school in a timely manner at least three nights a week because I need time with my family; a well rounded person makes for a better teacher. And I will blog once a month to process what I am doing. I know no one may actually read it, and that's okay. I need to write and who knows maybe there is another over-whelmed almost ready to give-up teacher out there and they too will be inspired to keep on trying.